Reply With Quote
Repent, all those who don't believe in SPAM!
For those of you who do not understand, read here a previous EHF masterpiece.
Remember this and never forget how you provoked the SPAM to anger. From the day the Duncan was injured until this day, you have been rebellious against the SPAM and turned your back on his words. You aroused the SPAM's wrath so that he was angry enough to destroy you. When I went to the temple of the SPAM to receive the Spurs message of salvation, the message of the championship that the SPAM had made with you, I stayed in the temple forty entire minutes; I ate no bread and drank no water, only SPAM. The SPAM gave me two white tablets inscribed by the finger of SPAM. On them read the words “Rolaids” proclaimed to you on the mountain out of the fire, on the last day of March.
Then the SPAM told me, "Go down from here at once, because your people whom Kori and LJ brought out of posting exile have become corrupt. They have turned away quickly from what I commanded them and have made a cast idol for themselves."
And the SPAM said to me, "I have seen this people, and they are a stiff-necked people indeed! Let me alone, so that I may destroy them and blot out the Spurs’ name from under the championship trophy. And I will make you into a SPAMnation stronger and more numerous than they."
So I turned and went down from the temple while it was ablaze with fire. And the two tablets of the Rolaids were in my hands. When I looked, I saw that you had sinned against the SPAM; you had made for yourselves an idol cast in the shape of a Nugget. You had turned aside quickly from the way that the LORD had commanded you. So I took the two tablets and threw them out of my hands, breaking them to pieces before your eyes, leaving me with quite the upset stomach indeed.
Then once again I fell prostrate before the SPAM for forty minutes; again I ate no bread and drank no water, only SPAM, because of all the sin you had committed, doing what was evil in the SPAM's sight and so provoking him to anger. I feared the anger and wrath of the SPAM, for he was angry enough with you to destroy you. But again the SPAM listened to me. And the SPAM was angry enough with Sequspur to destroy him, but at that time I prayed for Sequ too. Also I took that sinful thing of yours, the Nugget you had made, and burned it in the fire. Then I crushed it and ground it to powder as fine as dust and threw the dust into a stream that flowed down the mountain.
And when the playoffs started the SPAM foresaw that the Spurs quest would be successful. But you rebelled against the commandments of the SPAM. You did not trust him or obey him. You have been rebellious against the SPAM ever since I have known you.
I lay prostrate before the SPAM those forty minutes suffering from incredible indigestion and a slight hangover because the SPAM had said he would destroy you. I prayed to the SPAM and said, "O SPAM, do not destroy your people, your own inheritance that you redeemed by your great power and rewarded with two championship trophies. Remember your servants Solid D, Timvp and Kori. Overlook the stubbornness of this people, their wickedness and their sin. Otherwise, the country from which you brought us will say, 'Because the SPAM was not able to take them into the land of the NBA le, and because he hated them, he brought them out to put them to death in the desert.' But they are your people, your inheritance that you brought out by your great power and your outstretched arm. Make an offering here, in this thread, to renew your allegiance to the power of the SPAM, and leave behind you all wickedness and doubt.
Repent, all those who don't believe in SPAM!
For those of you who do not understand, read here a previous EHF masterpiece.
damn...If I didn't have a headache, I'd read all that.
But since it's from Chopper Boy, I know it's good!
behold!...I make an offering of SPAM!...
Damn.. didn't read that but you are our version of jp !
See Deuteronomy, chapter 9 of the Bible for my inspiration on this one.
I was gonna eat a turkey burger but now, I must go out and buy some SPAM to make a SPAM Burger.
Hopefully SPAM will give the Spurs the strength to overcome.
Edgar, you'd better be praying to the Lord and tell Him you' just playin' and while you're at it, be thankin' Him that SPAM is now good and acceptable in His sight, for now there is no clean nor unclean animal nor SPAM (part clean/part unclean), Greek or Jew, cir cised or uncir cised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free.
That is the best thing I've read in a while, nice job!
Blessed be the SPAM, (s)he who partakes of the SPAM shall live in Glory forever and ever.
O Mighty SPAM! Forgive me my wicked panic attack Sunday night!!! I make to thee an offering of... um...
I have an apple...
I can't pretend to offer myself up as a virgin sacrifice right?
(falls to floor speaking in tongues)
Solid, God knows it's all in good fun. His attorney did contact me regarding copyright infringment, but I assured him that all proceeds from SPAMnation are being donated to Christian charities. All future potential litigative matters were averted with my signature on a do ent officially attesting to God as the one true Lord, and agreeing to include the following disclaimer on all subsequent SPAM posts:
NOTE: SPAM IS NOT THE LORD GOD. ONLY THE TASTE OF IT IS HEAVENLY
Hopefully this lays your fears to rest.
eternal "SPAMnation" could also describe what lays in store for you if you didn't repent.
At least I wasn't mentioned by name
Never thought of Spam that way.
Instead of a chicken salad sandwich for lunch....I could make a Spam salad sandwich.
mmm....Spam salad!At least I wasn't mentioned by name
Instead of a chicken salad sandwich for lunch....I could make a Spam salad sandwich.
behold!...I make an offering of SPAM!...
That's disgusting! :throwupsp
Hail SPAM!
The streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers!
Funniest Post Ever Forum.
Sequ, get in here and repent!
Preach on, SPAM Moses!
My faith in SPAM hath never waned....although there's this serpent that's been slithering around my door step....
I read this one and the one before, I am loyal to SPAM!
BELIEVE!
spam On! spamsanity!
spamoverdenver! Karlspammed! Martinspammed! Charminanthonyspammed!
Ohihaveseenthelightthankyouohhighspam
The SPAM is pleased with all except Sequspur who has failed to repent. It is one thing to have the country of Argentina mad at you, but woe to any man who angers the SPAM.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
